Summer is almost 40% over and the crying, screaming, running, and other various upheaval is starting to wear on me. My efforts to be a nice mom are not going really well. Last week was Patriotic Week and it just seems so contrary to our country's values to yell at your kids to be quite and pay attention so you can recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
I know deep down in their little hearts my kids are appreciating my efforts to teach them, play with them, paint, and sing with them...but they have a strange way of expressing it. Even while we are trying to get through a craft of learning activity I feel like I'm just hanging on, dragging myself through a battlefield of flying objects and whining, until we can get to nap time or the blessed hour when Dad comes home.
On Tuesday I was at the gym waiting to put my kids into the Kids Club when a woman asked, "You have four? How is it?" I gave her a bright smile and confessed, "It is awful." She continued, "I have three and I'm not sure if I can handle four. I'm already yelling more that I want to." I assured her, "Yes, there is lots of yelling." Her response? "I guess if you are okay with that." Yeah, lady. It brings we great joy and satisfaction to be angry with my kids and feel like I am in over my head most of the time. I love that despite my efforts to control myself loud things often jump out of my mouth. I love feeling like a bad mom. And wow, I can't wait to have another one some day. Sigh.
So back to being combustible...
Did you know if you put a package of Mentos into a soda bottle it explodes out the top?
soda pop fireworks on the beach at Bear Lake
Did you know if you put four small, but very loud, children into a small home the mother will explode? (Even while I attempt to write this one child is screaming in one ear while another knocks things off the bookcase and another can't sit still for two minutes to watch the movie SHE PICKED!)
I would much rather explode like this...
Did you know if you shake me up and down on a tube with my sisters loud laughter will burst from me?
I miss the laughing really hard.
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8 comments:
I love the laughing too. I'm sorry that you are in the crazy zone. Have hope...those days get fewer as the kids get older and more responsible. You're doing great! I love ya!
I know how you feel woman! Having three has just about killed me... I think we are done!
We were in Bear Lake over the 4th too! Did you get to see the fireworks on the beach?
That tubing was sooo fun Tob! I miss it too! Lets do it over labor day for sure!! I love how you describe it as "loud things jump out of my mouth" I think with my kids I'll stick with the denial (Insert LOUD voice here) "I'M NOT YELLING" good old Dad style (;
It will get better. Maybe try a day with no schedule and see how it goes. Perhaps there are just too many fun things planned and the kids are overwhelmed?
Good luck. You are awesome.
I'm leaving a comment in the middle of the night. You know why? It's quiet. I can think a little better. I sure like it quiet. A little alone time's a good thing. *sigh*
Someone told me once that it's expectations that cause people to get angry. They want control and can't get it and so they yell. Well, I told myself to lower my expectations. I said "today my kids are going to do things that drive me crazy" and you know what happened? They did...and I was.
Lisa - we missed the fireworks. We try to get the kids in bed by nine so we can have some adult time. we ate shakes and watched my brother's favorite youtube videos. Again, enjoyed the laughing.
Em - the day I wrote this post was a day we didn't have anything planned. Here's to wishing I have success with your "bigger house theory" someday.
Angela - expectations of control are a huge problem for me. That is a hard one to fix.
You are awesome Tob! I love your honesty. I am in denial about my yelling. Have you tried locking them under the stairs? I am kidding.. that is creepy. I admire you so much and I think that you are doing a wonderful job! Much love!
Hmm, locking them under the stairs, not a bad idea except that that where all my pantry food is. I already know letting G have all the food he can get is a bad idea.
I don't like yelling either. It sucks big time. In fact, the more I get frustrated during the day, the more I want a bigger bowl of ice cream at night. Last week I had Jared drive out to arbys to get me a roastburger meal at 10pm. I think yelling is having a negative effect on my waistline. I hear yoga decreases stress. Now if I could only peel this computer off my lap and get up off the couch.
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